Misplaced Missive #7 – Curiosity and Fear

Curiosity and fear warring within;
By telling you the truth,
Tell me:
Did I commit an irredeemable sin?

You talk in donuts:
Round and round,
Nothing in the middle.
How hard is honesty?
How easy are lies?
Your cowardice surprises me;
Making me question my candor
and your character.
Can we only be true
When offered sweet briberies?

Be straightforward;
Don’t lie and imply you do this ‘for me’
You’re the one obscuring the story
With sugarcoating and alleged allegory.
Hidden fact and delicious falsehood…
Admit:
It was never a ‘if I could, I would’,
But an ‘I will not’
Wrapped in cotton candy coating
To conceal it’s deadly blow
To us.

Curiosity and fear warring within,
Maybe the healthiest choice,
Is to voice
The worst admission.
The harshest concession,
That you were never worth my honesty,
Or my hope or my aggression.
Pain teaches the best lessons,
And let me say, never again will I stray
So close to such a witch’s dessert home.
A hollow house unworthy of my interest,
Disguised by shiny shades of ambiguous vows,
But void of meaning or depth or follow through.
A broken building to sickeningly suit one such as you.

Jessie Gutierrez

 

PS: I wrote this a cool forever ago… reading through, I remember exactly what inspired it, but  I can’t help feeling a little silly about my mixing of metaphors in my anger. Still, it almost works for me in a strange way.

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