Gender Studies – A Lesson in Lessening

little man

 fickle and frantic
the flaws of ‘femininity’
you so often rage against
you hate in another
all the weaknesses
you can’t smother in yourself.
Emotional, little man,
you only take a stand
and preach
behind closed doors
and away from the targets
of your righteous fury.
surely, you cannot be this
hypocritical
sad
pathetic
your rhetoric awash in
logical fallacies,
exaggerations,
triggered banalities.
The primary casualty of
your constant complaining
is respect.
Years of camaraderie
Near forfeit now,
sacrificed to the pyre
of your self interest.
Do its flames warm you in your loneliness?
Or do you see the offering
as another sign of your holiness?
Holier than thou,
despite how
miserable you are.

I don’t get it.
This issue, a frequent revisit,
of trivial overreaction.
Do you derive satisfaction
from lowering everyone around you?
their morale,
their mood,
does angst soothe
whatever is so missing from your life?
These questions have answers
we yet not know,
I can only hope to sow,
some reflective curiosity
Your way and pray,
you follow their lead to enlightenment.
To look inward.
you so often rage against… women.
you hate in them
all the weaknesses
you can’t hide from yourself.
Arrogant, little man
How can you stand
to embody such tempestuous emotions?
Such feminine fragility?

How often have
derogatory slurs
slid from your lips?
Bestowed like a Judas’ kiss,
as sharp as your smile,
as sweet as a fist,
that has missed its opponent
Do you know it
hurts to hear you sneer
snide slander so
often?
So flagrantly,
So viciously…
It shouldn’t be so simple
for you to spew such
filth.
Your projection and transference
are not equal truths.
We are not friends.
I do not respect one
who will not respect me.
I suspect,
you will wash this away
As another ‘overemotional female’,
too threatened by your
…Brilliance?
…Substance?
…Work Ethic?
I regret
that nothing I say here
will change your mind.
but I’ll say it regardless,
my own verbal violence
rendered harmless,
this is purely for catharsis:
Until you harness
your overgrown demons
and inflated inferiority complex,
You will stay as little as you are now.
Beneath dignity,
Unworthy of respect.
There is no brilliance in tearing others down
Out of earshot.
There is no substance in shouted assumptions
There is no work ethic in bitching loudly
while others pick up your slack.
I’m sure you have a four letter comeback to that.
I’m sure each one fits better to you,
than to me.
These words are the only way
I’ll allow you to corrupt my integrity.
I have no patience for little boys
Pretending to be men
by insulting women
with preconceived notions of
masculine and feminine.

Jessie Gutierrez

PS: I hate getting mad. It always feel so juvenile to want to yell at another adult. Scribbling it down does make me feel better, even though nothing is going to change in this particular circumstance. I know the Nothing More song doesn’t totally fit… but in the way that matters in my head it does. Ha he’s warning about the dangers of falling into anger and raging with the people you trust, but I’ll take it a step farther: we are always lessened by fighting in this way. I never want to stand on ground that appears to be a good platform for screaming at the top of my lungs…. I fear I have lost something important by falling into anger’s trap.

With every battle we lose a little more’

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