Moonlit Musing – Panic Attack Fodder

Desperation

Steady your breathing. In and out. In and out.
Hold onto the sound of the constant,
Focus only on this instant, on this inhale,
Freeze time inside, because it’s all you can do:
Steady your breathing. In and out. In and out.

Ignore the voice in your mind, the one that groans,
The one that sighs. You’d be dumb to deny,
The glaring warning signs of ‘Stay Away’.
Ignore the source of pain, the one that burns,
The one that yearns. You’d be a fool to yield
To the hollowing temptation of What Once Didn’t Happen.

Tumultuous tumbling into desperation,
Panicked, increased respiration,
Fast fumbling, bumbling, skipping, missing soft grass,
Passed sweet earth, toward the deepest well
So far down no one can tell
Which way to sky, which way to Hell,
How far is the bottom?
Maybe this is the torrid autumn –
Season of scorching change.
Time to end the descent, admit weakness,
And wrongness to halt the decline into darkness.

Steady your breathing. In and out. In and out.
Hold onto the sound of the constant,
Focus only on this instant, on this inhale,
Freeze time inside, because it’s all you can do:
Steady your breathing. In and out. In and out.

You left me to crash to Earth.
Worthless as ash and dirt
Even aware, I didn’t care,
Lost in the free fall of inevitable attraction,
Pulling at my thoughts like gravity.
Natural, irresistible law –
That’s why I’ll always call
Out your name at my lowest.

So I say to myself:
Ignore the voice in your mind, the one that groans,
The one that sighs. You’d be dumb to deny,
The glaring warning signs of ‘Stay Away’.
Ignore the source of pain, the one that burns,
The one that yearns. You’d be a fool to yield
To the hollowing temptation of What Never Happened.

Jessie Gutierrez

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s