Wishing for the cartoon bulb to ignite, to light,
Eager for a neon sign; Eager for a vivid high,
Almost divine to help me to create
Reality not limited to this excessively plain
Existence I long to disfigure with graffiti.
When will my muse answer my pleas?
Head down, hands on knees, I am torn,
Always wanting more, waiting so
That one day, I will make something magnificent.
With your help, and your motivation, and your idea,
Escalating my own: the ultimate collaboration; true inspiration.
Reappear and disappear, inconsistent like la Luna,
Encouraging fear, I only want you near, but like an insomniac,
Peace of mind and blissful oblivion escape at
Each of your absences, but I try not to succumb.
All my hope and all my me need to see: I don’t need you;
That I never have and that I can inspire my own art.
Every day, I will try anew to be better, be the alpha
Dog without allowing myself to be your bitch.
Like a switch that I’ve turned, never again will I play omega.
You were never there for me, and I’ve been so dumb…
Denying what’s so obvious, so powerful like a tsunami,
Over me it crashed – the realization that
Everything I do, I don’t have to do for you –
X out today on the calendar. Goodbye drama.
Ciao chaotic dependence and Au Revoir
Ever relying on you, just to be let down. Today’s graffiti
Lies all over who I once was,
Let this day be the first.
Each one from now on, I will say “No.”
No to using you as an excuse not to start.
Clarity after the storm, I can’t blame you anymore. Even if I fall,
Even if I fail. I will try again. Because I wish for excellence.
Written By Jessie Gutierrez
“We are what we repeatedly do; Excellence then, is not an act but a habit” – Aristotle